Be forgiving like the “More Life” rapper, but wait for an apology first
Drake Started From The Bottom, so he’s knows what it’s like to be less fortunate.
A 24-year-old woman reportedly broke into the Canadian rapper’s Los Angeles digs earlier this month, per TMZ. She was found wearing one of Drake’s hoodies in a bedroom by one of his friends, after having stolen about $10 of Pepsi, Sprite and Fiji Water from his kitchen. The gossip news site later reported that the “More Life” singer wouldn’t be pressing charges against the alleged criminal, in part because he thought she was mentally disturbed and needed medical help.
Rap star or not, victims don’t legally have a say in the actions of a criminal prosecutor. But prosecutors often consider their feelings anyway. “The prosecutor has a lot of discretion,” says Jeffrey Kirchmeier, a criminal law professor at the City University of New York.
Drake’s forgiveness has a lesson it in for all of us, says workplace etiquette expert Barbara Pachter. She thinks Drake’s case is a good example of how to settle office disputes over say, someone wrongly taking credit for your work.
“If the person didn’t mean you harm and the problem is resolved, why not?” says the author of “The Communication Clinic.” That’s especially the case in a scenario like Drake’s, when you have an antagonist who’s facing challenges of their own. “If it’s a difficult time for them, cut them some slack because they may not know the effect of their actions. If the situation were reversed, you’d like someone to forgive you also.”
One advantage: forgiving banks good karma. “Nobody’s perfect and many times, there are just little mistakes that people make, yourself included,” Pachter says. She adds that you don’t have to go out of your way to tell the person you forgive them– that can be awkward– though if they bring it up, just say “I’m glad we were able to resolve things.”
But there is a risk that a willingness to forgive is interpreted as being a pushover. For instance, Drake’s father recently told TMZ that his son probably wouldn’t be so nice to the next person who attempted burglarizing his crib. “You have to speak up and say it’s an issue for you,” says Pachter. “If not, you’re a pushover. It’s difficult to forgive someone if they haven’t apologized or said anything” contrite.
After all, you don’t want another person taking advantage of you again.
© 2018 Dow Jones & Company, Inc. All Rights Reserved